Mental Health, mindfulness, personaldevelopment, psychology, Social Science, Spirtuality, wellness

A New Year Can Be Your New Start

Happy New Year!
A new year.
A fresh start.
Around this time, most of us make resolutions. Resolutions of changes we want to make or goals we would like to achieve in the coming year.  It’s a new year and in our minds we believe it’s a clean slate. Silly of us to think a year ending would also end our bad habits. Some of us succeed at these resolutions but many fail. Many fail because committing to the work it entails to complete these goals is usually a difficult task for the individual trying.  Completing goals such as losing weight, finding a new job, or a new love relationship requires great strength, focus, determination, and the desire to commit to you. How do you commit to yourself you may ask? Committing to yourself is the act of taking yourself seriously; realizing your worth, and not settling till you get what you are entitled to. So many settle for less. Inside they know something just doesn’t feel quite right but they choose not to listen. Hearing the voice and doing nothing about it is truly a crime. But, fear of success or failure can get the best of us.
It’s worse when an individual is oblivious to their inner guidance. These individuals hear nothing. No call to action. Like zombies they walk around feeling as if they have no purpose. We all have a purpose. Not realizing your true purpose or your calling is a disservice to humanity. We must be in tune to our minds, bodies, and soul in order to be aware of the guidance. Without fear we can then pursue our life’s purpose.
Why do some choose less when it does not make them happy? Is this the easy way? Ask yourself if you are choosing the easy way out? This is the year to sit back and reflect. Can I do better? Do I have more in me? For me, pushing myself to the limit is the only way. Embracing challenges, being in service to others,  and seeing the fruits of my labor brings a joy like no other. I find being comfortable difficult.
If comfort brings happiness to you then maybe you are where you need to be. These words are not for you. I am speaking to the individuals who have that little voice inside of them. This voice is pushing them to do more or to be more. To push just a little harder. It’s you who I write to. To all of you who hear that voice…this can be the year you resolve to be more and resolve to be better.
Make this your year to push a little harder.
Mental Health, Social Science

What is the price of love?

Every so often I like to take a trip into good old NYC. Nothing like NYC to help you gain motivation in your life. The speed of this big city is very quick. Walking around, even the most accomplishment person can wonder if they are achieving enough in their life. Sometimes I like to sit down at a cafe with a drink and write. Recently I decided it was time for a NYC adventure again. Took my seat at a Starbucks and began to focus. I was deep and focused, when a pack of dogs walked by. A dog walker was walking them. The expressions on the faces of some of the dogs were intense and distracting as they rushed by. So intent on what they were trying to accomplish. They had a job to do and they were going to do it. It was interesting to see these dogs work so well in a group. Each one was no longer an individual. They were now functioning group members.

Group Mentality is such an interesting subject to me. I find it interesting because my whole life’s goal has been to find strength within my developed individuality. But how well did I work in the group? We are trained throughout life to stay within the confines of the group. A view that dates back to the beginning of time. We go to school and follow a schedule that resembles closely what are lives should look like as functional and productive group members in society. We follow a religion in order to be part of a group, in order to be loved and accepted and to indulge in the social constructs of belonging as a member of society. Because after all, our ultimate goal in life is to be loved.

But to me this price is just way too steep. Must I sacrifice myself in order for you to love me? Or can I be a whole person and find your acceptance? So many of us with so many holes. We were trained to seek solace in others. Why are we trained to seek validation from others and not ourselves?

Not that it bothers me too much but leaving the confines of the group usually leads to criticism. Criticism because the person choosing individuality puts the security of the group in jeopardy. Another view that dates back to the beginning of time and most likely rooted in the reptile brain (the lower part of the brain that responds to fear). We were conditioned to function this way but in a healthy way, just like the pack of dogs. It just seems like we have lost that balance. So many people giving their power away instead of claiming the power of their own individuality. Do you struggle with the fine balance of individuality vs. group?

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